Beneath our superficial exterior lies a need to be accepted. Unfortunately, the desire to be accepted overrides our ability to express our true selves. Consequently, and all too often, we become trapped in a system that dictates what we should believe, until at last, we awake to the reality that we have become something we never wished to be.
The fear of rejection must surely be the driving force that would cause even the most extroverted among us to eventually succumb to the trap of repressing our true ideals; this renders us lonely, stifling our true self.
Losing our “place” within ourselves seems like an odd statement. However, if I seek to fulfill a goal that somebody else has set for my personal life, I believe I am then in grave danger of giving a mighty foothold to the power of their control.
Control hideously takes on many forms, only to be recognized after our former “self” has disappeared. How sad it is when we emerge from a lifelong coma only to find our identity has been forever lost.
Out of body experiences are surreal when one has been invaded by a control freak. Pardon the pun! I believe that it is possible to recapture at least a portion of who I was. However, who really knows what I may have been, had I maintained my ground early on? Oh well; tracing my path back through time will not change the future. Moving ahead one step at a time, the journey begins again.
Past events mold us, giving us a reservoir of experience. Experience rolls at us through life, and sometimes rolls right over-the-top of us! Hallelujah, and hold onto the seat because here it comes whether we like it or not!
I have pondered why we allow ourselves to be controlled. The flip side would be why do some people feel the need to be controlling? Perhaps the feeling of power brings satisfaction. Or possibly, insecurity thrusts them to the forefront of absolute control over life’s circumstances. Passion to control their own destiny must not be enough. Could it be controlling other people brings a euphoric high, or an adrenaline rush that fills the abyss within their soul?
Could it be there is a place on middle ground? Plodding ahead, one step at a time, I search for that quiet place of rest where I can pull away from all that encumbers me. I long for a place where I can open my heart and hear the leading of that still small voice as it whispers bearings for the pathway ahead.
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